What is one of the biggest illusions that we use to create the stories we tell ourselves? Give up? It’s CONTROL. Yes, control. How often do you find yourself tired, stressed, and worn out and trying to orchestrate the outcome of something? And believe me, I understand because I do it too! We all do it, it’s in our nature to try and control things. By controlling the situation, it can prevent us from being hurt like we were in the past. It softens the blow of many negative things… or at least we think it does that. Since we did not control the outcome of the previous situation that scarred us, we feel the need to go to the extreme and “control” the current situation in front of us, holding on to the reins so tightly our knuckles are white! What is control, really? Control is simply another construct to keep us from feeling what we need to feel in order to trust our intuition about what to do. It also numbs the painful feelings that we experienced at some point along our journey. Unfortunately, control is also an illusion that can make things worse. What other things do we try to control? What happens when you try to control other people? I don’t know of an instance where that has ended for the better… I think we confuse control frequently with choice. CHOICE is the one thing that we have to control how we act or react to the given situation. Be careful not to confuse losing control of yourself with letting go of control. Choosing to work on ourselves from the inside – dealing with negative situations from our past, changing our mindset from negative to positive, choosing kindness and acceptance over hatred – those are the things that we can control. And by choosing the positive options, that’s how the outcome of any given situation changes from negative to positive. Not because you controlled the situation, you controlled YOUR CHOICE on how to feel about it or how to deal with it.
WE try so hard to “control” our lives and/or the outcome of things! The more we let go of that control and work to be present – for us Christians that’s letting go and trusting God’s plan – life becomes joyous and fulfilling!! Controlling everything, or creating the illusion that we’re in control of everything, is exhausting, stressful, and typically harmful for everyone involved! Your blessings get missed and the outcome you tried to arrange becomes forced and inauthentic!!
A friend shared their devotional with me yesterday and this part really resonated with me – “Trusting God brings a supernatural rest to our souls, allowing us to live simply and freely, the way He wants us to live. So even when it doesn’t make sense, trust Him, and experience His freedom and rest.”
It is challenging to step back, let go, and do the inner work to change your beliefs and mindset. So tell me, what are you ready to stop controlling and let go of?